Choices
by Quin-Kilkziard
Summary: Sakura risks her relationship with her sensei forever when she asks him to help her fulfill a very personal mission. What are the emotional consequences of losing your virginity for a mission? Adult themes.
1. Tsunade

Sakura stared at her mentor, dumbfounded.

"I have to what?"

Tsunade paused and sighed into her entwined fingers.

"Sakura, it's a requirement for all chunins that want to receive higher than B level missions." Her voice was much calmer than her usual harried yelling. She knew this was a delicate subject, and she would have killed not to have to tell her protégé that the village needed her to lose her virginity if she ever wanted to become a fully-fledged ninja.

Sakura's face throughout the duration of this conversation had gone from serious to shocked and had finally settled on blank. Tsunade couldn't tell whether the cogs in Sakura's brain were working frantically or had shut down completely.

"Sakura," Tsunade said softly, "you don't have to do this. You can still continue on with your hospital work, and your normal missions, but, as for reconnaissance and spy work, as well as any A or S class missions…" she faded off. Sakura was still in her own world. "Sakura! Snap out of it!"

Sakura snapped to attention, and Tsunade realized she had tears in her eyes. Tsunade immediately regretted her outburst. Apparently she would have to control herself, but damned if Sakura thought this was easy for her. To be the one to tell her prized student her innocence was getting in the way of her career. Not to mention saving one of her best friends.

"…Tsunade-sama," Tsunade looked up to see Sakura staring at the floor, "Do I—have to do this, to—to…"

"Be allowed to go on the mission to rescue Sasuke? Yes.'' Tsunade saw Sakura flinch. "I tried talking to the council, seeing as how this is a somewhat different class of mission, but they wouldn't budge. Any mission above B class requires ninja who have lost their virginity. "

"But wh—?"

"The rules were originally made to protect ninja from undue trauma due to rape, but some ninja are so eager to move up in the ranks, they force themselves to lose their virginity before they're really ready, and that can be just as bad. The council doesn't see it that way though, and though it's archaic, it looks like that rule isn't going to be repealed anytime soon." She paused, "Sakura, I'm sorry you've been put in this position, but the choice is up to you.

CRACK

"And how the HELL do you expect me to decide, HUH?" Sakura threw the cracked table into the wall where it shattered into pieces, "I have given EVERYTHING to this village, and all I want is to be able to go save my best friend and you won't even let me do that, because of some dumbass rule?"

Tsunade stood up, "You think I WANTED to tell you this? You think I enjoy watching you suffer? If you think for a second that I didn't fight this with everything I had against those old windbags in the council…!" She faded off in a huff, hunched over, looking down. She looked up at her pupil. Both were breathing heavily, but as they locked eyes they understood each other. She crossed over the remains of her desk and took her shaking student in her arms.

Sakura immediately burst into tears, "I—it's not f-fair."

"I know it's not, honey, I know."


	2. Kakashi

Kakashi crouched on a roof, reading his trademark book. The village bustled below, but the sound of it degenerated by the time it reached his ears. All he heard was white noise, like his apartment at night with the fan on. He had just started to get lost in the moment of Nanako and Ryuusuke's first kiss, when he heard something he hadn't heard in a long time: the sound of Sakura crying.

Kakashi didn't know when it was he had learned to recognize the sound of his only female student's sniffles, but he had. He peered over the ledge to confirm his suspisciouns, and there she was, walking down a backstreet, head hung low, hands balled into fists rubbing her eyes. She looked exactly like she had the day he had told her everything would be OK, that Sasuke would come back, that it would all be the same again. He leaned back into his comfortable crouch, contemplating letting her pass him by. He sighed and closed his book.

"Yo."

Sakura whipped around to face her newly appeared sensei before she remembered she was crying.

"Oh! Kakashi-sensei," She quickly tried to wipe her cheeks with the heels of her hands, "what's up?"

She angled her face away from him, trying to hide her splotchy face.

"Hmm… I just got word that Naruto's coming back this week."

Sakura's face actually lit up with genuine surprise, it looked like she had momentarily forgotten whatever it was she was crying about. He started walking towards her.

"N—Naruto! He's coming back? Really?"

"Yeah. Just got word from Kotetsu at the gate that Jiraiya was spotted near East Fire Country heading this way," he paused for effect, "Naruto was with him."

Sakura's tears had stopped falling, and it looked like she was actually happy, but then he saw her face fall slightly. Kakashi knew Sakura didn't want him to think she was weak. Truth be told she probably would have been happier if he hadn't come up to her and had just let Naruto's impending arrival be a happy surprise. But he didn't listen to the voice in his head telling him to leave her alone. He never did.

His sensei instincts were telling him to comfort her, but if Kakashi had learned anything about Sakura in the last three years, it was that she didn't want his pity. She had developed a pride that would not stand to be looked down upon. It was better for both of them if he pretended he hadn't seen her moment of weakness.

"Any new missions lately?" There. Foolproof question.

*flinch*

Or so he thought.

"No, nothing too major. Mostly hospital stuff, y'know."

That was odd. Her voice sounded so light and overly normal it was throwing him off balance. Hadn't she just been sad a second ago? Geez, wome-.

That was it. Of course that was it.

Sasuke... She was sad about Sasuke.


	3. Sakura

Sakura stared at her tea, swishing it around whenever it got clear enough for her to see herself in it. The café was just off the main road. People were walking past her small table, all living their own lives. She could hear occasional snippets of conversation.

…_kunai mom!..._

…_so Yuki said she signed up for…_

…_got a case of…_

…_so embarrassing!..._

Embarrassing. Her head dipped down a scowl forming on her face. God, how had she let Kakashi-sensei see her like that. It was so obvious he had seen her crying. Over the last three years she had tried to erase the image of herself as a whiny crybaby, and one day had ruined all that hard work. She hadn't cried in front of him since the day Sasuke and Naruto had fought.

_Naruto… _Was he really coming back after all this time? But what was really bothering her was what Kakashi had said to her before he flew off after witnessing her weakness.

"_Sasuke's been spotted in Amegakure."_

Which just made the issue Tsunade had told her about all the more pressing. With Sasuke potentially findable and Naruto returning, there was sure to be a mission sent out to retrieve him. A mission she would not be allowed to go on.

She unconsciously squeezed her cup so hard that it cracked, spilling lukewarm tea mixed with blood all over her hands. It was enough to shock her out of her reverie.

"Umm… check please!" She stood up and realized she had a tea stain on her red skirt. "Never mind," she said in a hurried whisper as she slammed a few coins on the table and ran away as fast as she could.

She stood with her back to the inside of her front door, panting slightly. She would kill to learn that teleportation jutsu reserved for jonin.

The adrenaline had finally faded enough for Sakura to realize she hadn't healed her hands, and spiked right back up as she considered her last thought. Jonin. Jonin. Joninjoninjoninjonin. Jonin. It all came back to that. She wanted to be a jonin. She wanted to protect her friends to the best of her ability, to protect her village. She wanted to save Sasuke…

She plopped face down on her bed, skirt still stained, hands still bloody.

Now she had to think.


	4. Ino

Ino stood idly behind the counter of her family's shop, toying with a geranium on display while in deep contemplation. Sakura had asked to meet her later that night. Ino hadn't been able to get anything more out of her, just to wait for her at her shop till eight o' clock. Ino wasn't complaining, it had been a month since she had hung out with Sakura and a whole week since she had even seen her. Something was definitely up with her, and Ino, despite her constant façade of rivalry with the pink haired medic, did care about Sakura. More than she would ever know.

Ino was so absorbed in her own thoughts she didn't realize the geranium she was fiddling with had almost fallen apart, and only returned to attention at the sound of the bell attached to the shop door.

"Sakura!" Ino had to stop herself from sounding too excited.

"Hey Ino-pig."

Sakura's back was to the windows, and the slanted sunlight was making it difficult for Ino to see her face, but she sounded different. Not happy. Not sad, but definitely not happy. De-energized, maybe. Ino crossed over from behind the counter and walked up to her friend.

"What's up billboard brow?" By now there childhood names for each other were a symbol of friendship, not rivalry.

"Wanna go to a bar?"

Ino almost gasped. Sakura always refused her invites to go trolling at pubs. Sakura always insisted she would wait until she was twenty-five before she drank alcohol. Such a medic, worried about brain development at the age of sixteen.

Ino brought on her façade she used when she was with Sakura, all coy and extroverted.

"So what brought this change on, hmm? Got an eye on someone special? Need to drink away the heartache? Hmmm? Hmm?" She had her elbow on Sakura's shoulder and was leaning in to her with a cocked head, purposely being melodramatic. Ino had forgotten how soft Sakura's skin was, but just as she remembered, Sakura shrugged her off and started walking toward the door.

"Come on, let's just go."

And still more oddities. Normally Sakura would vehemently deny any accusations Ino threw at her, but today she just ignored them. Ino could tell something was bothering her friend, and she also knew Sakura didn't want her to be able to tell, so she let it slide. She put on an excited face and acted hyper so that Sakura wouldn't have to strain herself. She started walking with Sakura, using exaggerated gesticulations as she talked.

"So, the Silver Kunai has great sake, but I've heard Henge House is full of eligible young ninja…" Ino continued chattering inanities about the pros and cons of various bars as they walked, all the while leading her to the downtown where all the bars were.

Sakura occasionally scolded Ino for her lewd talk. Ino smiled. She couldn't be too bad off if she still had energy to scold her like always.

Ino was about to have that theory disproved.


	5. Ino Continued

Ino and Sakura had been traveling in silence when Ino had finished talking about bars. They were only a couple of blocks away from the Silver Kunai when Ino remembered what she was wearing.

Yeechh! We can't go clubbing in work clothes. Come on, let's go get dolled up at my house, we can talk on the way," and with that Ino grabbed Sakura's hand and turned around. Ino almost had the courage to keep holding her hand. Almost.

"So you gonna talk about it?"

"'Bout what?"

"You wanting to go to a bar all the sudden and stuff. What about waiting till you're an old hag till you drink?"

Sakura snorted in indignation.

"Not a hag, Ino! You know as a medic that the brain is not fully developed until at least twenty five years of a-"

"Yeah, yeah."

Ino was relieved by Sakura's lecture. At least she was talking.

"So… what's going on?"

Sakura sighed.

"Ino… can I ask you something?"

"Uh, yeah. What is it?"

"Are- are you a-a…"

"A what?"

"…brjn," Sakura mumbled.

"What?"

"…Virgin. Are you a virgin?"

Ino was dumbfounded.

"Wait, what? Where'd that come from?"

"Just tell me, OK!"

Ino didn't know why she did, but she lied.

"…No. No I'm not."

As soon as she spoke she regretted it. Ino wondered why she told Sakura she wasn't a virgin, but she already knew deep inside. Ino was waiting for "the one," and "the one" for her was Sakura, and unfortunately for Ino, it was imparative that Sakura never find that out. She had been denying her attraction to Sakura for years, since their academy days. If anyone found out how she felt, it would ruin everything, so she lied. She lied about liking Sasuke because she was paranoid everyone knew she liked Sakura, but then that spiraled out of control and ended up pushing her and Sakura apart. Now she was going to lie to Sakura again. Her lies never seemed to help her, but she wasn't brave enough to stop.

"Of course I'm not Sakura! Jeez, don't tell me you're still cherry?" She started laughing, her own vulgarity disgusting her. She noticed Sakura was starting to blush and scowl, so she eased up. "Why do you want to know, anyway?"

"Well excuse me for thinking you might be!" Sakura yelled, ignoring Ino's question. She started to storm off, but Ino grabbed her sleeve.

"C'mon Sakura, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have laughed or anything, I was a jerk. We can talk, OK?"

Sakura's aura softened and she stopped walking and turned to face Ino.

"I just- I got a mission."

For the next four hours, Sakura and Ino talked in Ino's room, ate ice cream, and gave each other therapeutic pedicures, all the while ranting about the council's idiocy. Sakura seemed to be doing much better now that she was talking.

Then came a difficult part when Sakura remembered she had just found out her best friend wasn't a virgin. When Sakura asked Ino who she had lost it to, Ino had made up a name and told her it was just a random civilian. When Sakura asked what it was like, Ino had to use the knowledge she had gained from medical textbooks and gossiping women at the baths to answer her question.

"Did it hurt?"

"A little bit, I guess."

"Did you like him?"

"A little bit, I guess."

They laughed at that, becoming drunk on tiredness, unable to stop. When they finally did, they were both lying on the bed. They looked at each other.

"Ino," Sakura whispered.

"Yeah?"

"What am I going to do? Who could I possibly do that with?"

"That," said Ino, leaning over Sakura to switch off the lamp, "is something to think about in the morning."

They resumed laughing in the dark. They eventually faded off and had been silent for a few moments when Sakura whispered,

"Ino?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"No problem, billboard brow."

She heard Sakura snort at the use of her nickname, but she was obviously too tired to retort. Ino watched Sakura's back as she slept. When her breathing had slowed and Ino was sure she was asleep, she whispered,

"I love you Sakura."


	6. Sakura Again

"_I love you Sakura."_

Sakura's eyes shot open, but Sakura's ninja skills automatically kept her breathing even and slow.

She was pretty sure Ino thought she was asleep. Sakura lied perfectly naturally for a few more minutes until she heard Ino's breathing slow and start snoring quietly.

Now that Sakura wasn't concentrating on pretending to be asleep, her mind started to work overtime. _Ino loved her? Was that a friend love? If so, why had she waited till Sakura was asleep to say it? She sounded serious…_

Sakura's mind went back to that day two years ago.

"_Sakura."_

_Sakura looked away from the medical files she was sorting._

"_Shikamaru, what's up? By the way, congrats."_

_Shikamaru grunted a bit in response to the recognition of his recent advancement to chunin rank. He didn't seem to be going anywhere, but he wasn't saying anything._

"_What's up?"_

_Shikamaru had his hands in his pockets, looking at the dusty ground. Sakura heard him mutter under his breath, "…troublesome…"_

"_Listen, Shikamaru, I'm kinda busy, if you need to tell me some-"_

"_Make up with Ino," Shikamaru interjected. Sakura was surprised, Shikamaru rarely raised his voice, and he never snooped in other's business._

"_What are you talking about? We've already made u-"_

"_Make up for real."_

_Sakura was getting miffed. Who was Shikamaru to judge the depth of her reconciliation with Ino? Sakura turned to Shikamaru, hands on her hips._

"_Listen, Shikamaru, that isn't really any of your business, so if you're done, I've got work to do. And since when do you care about other people's personal problems anyway?" She turned back to her files and huffed._

"_I don't. I care about Ino's problems, and your guys' pseudo friendship is messing with her."_

"_Wha- messing-?"_

_Shikamaru started walking away as Sakura sputtered angrily at him._

"_Quit being half-assed about her. She feels differently about you than you do about her."_

_Sakura stood agape, looking at Shikamaru's retreating back._

Sakura sighed. Back then she had no idea what Shikamaru was talking about, and had just decided to follow his advice and revived her friendship with Ino. She had dismissed the bruise on Shikamaru's face that appeared the next day, but now realized it was probably because Ino had found out he talked to Sakura. She had ignored any inkling that Ino might feel _that _way about her for years. It just didn't seem possible, but now, how could she ignore that suspicion? Ino had said she loved her, and was now unconsciously snaking her arm around Sakura's waist.

Sakura gasped. How could she do this to Ino? She was taking advantage of her own best friend's love for her, using her to discuss her own problems and sleeping in her bed. She was giving Ino false hope, and she hadn't even known it.

Sakura made a move to sit up, but Ino's arm weighed her down. Sakura sighed and lay back down.

She had really messed up this time.


	7. Asuma

Asuma lazed around the streets of Konoha. He was technically supposed to be looking for Genma about a mission, but to tell the truth, Asuma wasn't too eager to stick his head in the women's bathhouse looking for his perverted colleague. He sighed. He would have to find Kurenai and ask her to go check.

What a way to spend his day off.

Asuma had no idea why Tsunade needed to see Genma, but he didn't see why she had to ask Asuma to find him just as he had handed in his paperwork for that month.

It couldn't have been that urgent though, or she would have sent ANBU, so Asuma didn't feel too guilty when he ducked into a little café for a quick drink and smoke.

Asuma was about to sit in his favorite seat when a flash of pink caught his eye. _Sakura, Kakashi's former student. Looks like work _he thought, noticing a list in front of her. He was just about to say hi and sit down a few tables away when his keen ninja senses noticed a word on her list: Shikamaru.

_What does she want with Shikamaru? _He squinted his eyes even further and saw Chouji's name as well.

Curiosity piqued, Asuma nonchalantly chose a table just a few feet away from Sakura's turned back. He sat with his back to her, and she didn't seem to notice him, continuing to bite her pencil and tap her foot.

Asuma's mind briefly made its way back to his chunin exams where he had to cheat to pass. This was just like that, only he didn't have ten proctors watching him. Easy.

Asuma lit a cigarette calmly, and when he had taken a drag, he exhaled deeply. The smoke rose in a thick cloud in front of him. Asuma unhurriedly made a few choice hand signs and within moments the smoke wafted towards Sakura, seemingly aimlessly.

Asuma had to smirk a little. He was a little proud of this jutsu he had created. A simple combination of horses and pigs and he could see anything his smoke could 'see.' He closed his eyes and was immediately greeted with an image of Sakura from above. He didn't have too much time. When the smoke dissipated so did his vision. He hurriedly tried to read the list in front of Sakura.

_Huh? What's that? It's just a list of names._

Asuma hurriedly tried to memorize the list as his vision grew foggier and foggier.

SCRAPE.

Asuma was broken out of his reverie by the sound of another customer scooting out of their seat. He quickly tried to reclose his eyes, but when he did all he saw was haze. He opened his eyes, slightly peeved. He could only use that jutsu once every few hours, and he still had no idea what that list was about.

Asuma was normally a pretty mellow sort of guy (you had to be if you were going to survive working with Ino for three years.) Not one to snoop. He was mellow, but something about this list that Sakura was making and crossing out had him intrigued. If she was a jonin, he probably just would have asked her what it was about, but she was a chunin, and he didn't know her that well. And he knew how upset Ino got whenever one her teammates dealt with Sakura.

Asuma chuckled a little at the thought of his anxious student, but immediately regretted it when Sakura turned around nervously at the sound, saw him and immediately stood up to leave with her list clutched to her chest and a brief nod of recognition in his direction.

_Now what was that about? Was she blushing? A list that she doesn't want me to see but isn't secret enough to keep at home?_

Asuma continued to ponder, completely forgetting his mission to find Genma.

_A list with only boys' names on it, all within Sakura's general age range, most chunin like her._

_Chunin. _

Asuma got it. He immediately wished he had just had the sense to look for Genma instead of taking a break and snooping in someone else's business.

Asuma relit his cigarette and slumped in his chair, eyes wide. A million thoughts and questions were running through his head, but one stuck out.

_Did Kakashi know?_


	8. Sakura's List

Sakura chewed on her pencil anxiously, her foot tapping unconsciously against the café table. Normally she managed to repress these nervous ticks, but at the moment her mind was too occupied to bother.

Sakura was currently hunched over a café table, looking at a thoroughly abused piece of paper. The paper had a list of names on it, most of them crossed out. Sakura was so wrapped up in examining her list that she didn't even look back to see who had entered the café at the sound of the bell.

_Lee is out. I couldn't get his hopes up like that, and just… ughgh… Neji? No, how could I? He's dating Ten Ten and even if he wasn't…_

Sakura had done what she always did when she was stressed: attempt to organize her thoughts. She had listed the name of every boy her age she knew even moderately well on a paper and was currently going through her list and narrowing down the candidates.

Sakura felt so embarrassed. Who was she to assume that whatever boy she decided on would actually want to sleep with her? Sakura sighed. This may not be the best way to go about finding someone, but it was the only one she could stand to even think about right now.

_ Kiba? I guess he's ok… _Inner Sakura yelled at her that she didn't want to lose her virginity to dog-boy, but Sakura decidedly did not cross his name off the list. There was no real objective reason why it couldn't be Kiba, and Sakura couldn't afford to be so picky. Still, the idea that she would share something that special with a boy she hardly knew and hardly liked…

Sakura coughed slightly, the smell of cigarette smoke invading her nose. However, she was too absorbed to give her usual medic glare.

_Shikamaru?_

All of the sudden Sakura heard a chuckle, and in her hyper self-conscious state she immediately feared that someone had seen her list and magically knew what it was about. She turned around and saw Asuma sensei a few tables back. Her eyes went wide and she immediately clutched the list to her chest and made her way to the door, trying in her harried state to appear natural.

When she was out of the café, Sakura paused.

_Wait, why did I just do that? It's not like Asuma even saw my list, and even if he did, he wouldn't know what it was about._

Sakura berated herself for her moment of paranoia, but even so decided to finish her list at home.

_Besides, _Sakura thought, _what would he do even if he did know?_


	9. Kakashi and Genma

Kakashi sat at the bar of _Yamada's _nursing his drink. _Yamada's_ was nice because it mostly catered to jonins, chunins and genins didn't even know it existed.

"Oi! Kakashi!"

If only special jonin didn't know about it either…

Kakashi inclined his head a little to acknowledge his colleague.

"Yo."

"Ah, don't be so stiff! You know you're happy to see me."

Genma was really getting too close for comfort here, but Kakashi didn't want to move away from his friend. If Genma got even the slightest hint that Kakashi was uncomfortable with him hanging all over him then he would never stop.

His plan worked. When Kakashi made no move to shrug him off Genma quickly lost interest.

"So," Genma said, craning his neck around dramatically, "you haven't seen Asuma around, have you?"

"No."

"Hmm," Genma sat back down and accepted his drink from the barkeep. When it was clear Kakashi wasn't going to take the conversation bate Genma decided to just talk at him as opposed to with him.

"I got Tsunade to ask him to find me this morning, he's been looking since."

Genma chuckled. Kakashi did not seem as amused by his friend's immaturity.

"Haha, yeah. I've been ducking him since morning. He's not been looking too hard, though. Keeps taking breaks. I hate to think what would happen if he actually needed to find me."

"I hate to think what state Konoha would have to be in for you to be necessary."

"Ohhh, that hurts," he clutched his chest in fake agony, "you're so cold, Kashi-kun!"

"Oh my god…" Kakashi keeled forward over his drink, "Don't call me that. Ever."

Genma was happy to have finally gotten a reaction out of his friend. He really got a high out of this. And just his luck, the perfect opportunity…

"And who is _that_ foxy thing walking by?"

Kakashi slightly turned, but when his eyes saw what foxy thing Genma was referring to, they went wide.

_Perfect._


	10. Kakashi Again

"And who is _that_ foxy thing walking by?"

Kakashi didn't know why he looked. His normal strategy with Genma was to keep as still as possible and hope he saw something shiny and left, so Kakashi had no idea why he looked, but the second he did, he regretted it.

"She looks like she needs a good ol' ride with the Genmanator."

Kakashi's normal disgust at Genma's lasciviousness was usually out weighed by his hatred of Genma's obnoxious pet names for himself, but not today.

Genma now spoke into his hands, mimicking the sound of a grainy headset.

"Yes sir, we've detected an ass. Ranking: fine-as-hell. Permission to take out? Permission granted? Good. I'm going in (no pun intended.) Genma out."

Genma made to sweep out of his chair and approach the girl, but even under the influences of alcohol and pure shock Kakashi's ninja skills kicked into gear. He grabbed Genma by the collar of his jonin vest.

"No."

Genma seemed to look shocked, but Kakashi was sure this was exactly what he had wanted to happen when he decided to hit on Haruno Sakura in front of her former sensei.

"And just why not?"

"No."

Kakashi slammed Genma back into his seat.

Kakashi knew he shouldn't have risen to Genma's bait, but he couldn't seem to help himself. He glanced back at his former student as she looked around the dark neighborhood. She didn't seem to be going anywhere, or even really doing anything. Just looking around.

"Jeez, protective much?"

Kakashi grunted in response, returning his gaze back to his drink.

"She is hot, though."

"Genma…" Kakashi growled out. It was a warning. Drop the subject.

"No, really. She's grown up a lot."

"She's sixteen." To Kakashi that was explanation enough. You don't touch sixteen year olds, you just don't. Or at least that's what Kakashi thought most decent men believed. Oh wait, he was dealing with Genma here.

"Old enough to kill, old enough to drill, that's what I always say."

Kakashi tried to go back to his original strategy of not moving and hoping Genma left him alone.

"She's the perfect combo, really. Cute _and_ sexy."

Nope. Wasn't going to work.

"She got a boyfriend?"

_ Dear God would this never end? You're a beetle. Just a little silent bug that no one would be interested in. Genma doesn't talk to bugs. Genma doesn't talk to bugs. Genma doesn't-_

Kakashi's internal rant was interrupted.

"Nice ass. Boobs are small, but I've dealt with worse."

_Just a little bug. Totally invisible. Tiny eensy weensy bug-_

Genma seemed to realize Kakashi had mostly blocked him out. Time to bring out the big guns.

Genma leaned in close to Kakashi and said,

"Tell me honestly, you ever get a taste of that?"

Kakashi was milliseconds away from smashing Genma's face into the bar when he heard a familiar voice.

"Oi, Genma!"

Both Kakashi and Genma turned to see Asuma entering the bar.

Genma seemed to sense that the only thing keeping him from imminent doom right now was Asuma, so he immediately got up.

"Aaayyyy, Asuma buddy. How's it hangin'?"

Asuma looked a bit pissy.

"Tsunade wanted to see you this morning. Get your ass to the tower."

"Jeez Asuma, what took you so long to tell me? It might be urgent," Genma spouted as he walked out the bar. Kakashi saw him tip an imaginary hat to Sakura when he passed her, but luckily for Genma, he didn't stop and chat.

Asuma huffed and sat down heavily in Genma's now vacated seat.

"Been looking for that goddamn wanker all day…"

Finally, a drinking buddy Kakashi enjoyed.


	11. Sakura Witnesses

Sakura peered around the dark street. It was lined with houses, their back windows shining out into the unpaved street. But Sakura wasn't here to examine houses. The object of her attention was a bar. _Yamada's._

There was an erratic slow flow of people in and out of the bar. Instead of a door, _Yamada's_ had a large opening, giving the bar the feeling being a part of the street. Plenty of jonin were inside, one or two chunin.

Sakura's face was pinched, tense. She sighed.

She had finally decided a course of action. She couldn't, wouldn't sleep with someone she knew but didn't truly care about, so that left out most of her chunin acquaintances. She had also ruled out any close male friends.

Sakura fiddled with her shirt as she hemmed in front of the entrance. She sighed again. She had realized that she had been hoping Naruto would return and she could sleep with him and be done with it. But her encounter with Ino had taught her better. She couldn't take advantage of Naruto's crush on her. It was too cruel. To raise his hopes, even if she explained the situation… It would have been so easy to be with her best friend. Well, maybe not so easy, but easier.

That left only one option.

Sakura looked into the bar again. She had no real specifics of what she was looking for, but she assumed she would know it when she saw it.

She was about to step over the threshold when her breath caught in her throat. She should've seen this coming.

Kakashi–sensei.

Sakura immediately diverted her foot's path so that she didn't step into the bar. After all, she couldn't very well pick up men in front of her former teacher.

Sakura was almost turned around when her peripheral vision caught a flash of something. She inconspicuously moved so that she was facing Kakashi again, but it was not him that had caught her eye, it was the man next to him.

Genma Shiranui. Special jonin, known playboy, and from the looks of it, he was checking her out. Not at all subtly.

Sakura marveled at the blatant foolishness of a man who would ogle another man's student right in front of him. Sakura pretended to be looking at the houses across the street, but from the corner of her eye kept a view of her teacher and his friend. She trained her ears to find her teacher's voice.

"…sixteen."

There. She locked on to the direction his voice was coming from and blocked out any sound that wasn't coming from within three feet of her sensei's mouth.

"Old enough to kill, old enough to drill, that's what I always say."

If Sakura wasn't so concentrated on listening, she would have snorted at Genma's lack of delicacy. From what Sakura could tell, they were talking about her.

"She's the perfect combo, really. Cute _and_ sexy."

Sakura couldn't help the flush of pleasure she felt at the compliment, no matter how much she knew of Genma's loose way with words and women.

"She got a boyfriend?"

Sakura bit her lip. This mission wouldn't even be a problem if she had a boyfriend.

Sakura shook her head and returned to looking as nonchalant as possible while still listening to Genma and her sensei's conversation. Well, not really conversation. Kakashi seemed to be ignoring Genma now.

"Nice ass." Sakura eyes widened as she tried to contain an embarrassed smile. "Boobs are a bit small, but I've dealt with worse." Smile gone. Sakura had to resist the urge to look down and frown at her less than ample chest. She refocused when she saw Genma lean in close to her sensei. She was straining as hard as she could to hear what he said, but all she saw was a flurry of motion as her sensei raised his fist and looked to punch Genma.

"Oi, Genma!"

Sakura jumped as a man yelled into her ear.

She turned around, only to see Asuma walk past her. Their eyes briefly met, and Asuma's face seemed to change slightly, but she couldn't tell what the look he gave her meant.

She didn't have long to consider it because he quickly passed by her into the bar.

She now openly stared at the scene. Asuma said something about Tsunade, and Genma said something in a whimsical way while making his way towards the door. As he passed Sakura he tipped an imaginary hat, and said,

"Good evening little lady."

Then he walked off down the street into darkness.

Sakura spared one last glance to her sensei sitting at the bar before she turned and followed his friend into the night.


	12. Kakashi Discovers

Kakashi took another swig of sake. Genma had put thoughts in there that he now had to drown out with liquor. At least he was gone now, and Kakashi had Asuma to drink in pleasant silence with.

"So Kakashi…"

Or not.

Asuma grunted a bit, wanting to hold Kakashi's attention but not knowing what to say. Kakashi sighed internally. Why couldn't he just be left alone?

"So hrrmm, how's… everything?"

Kakashi was puzzled. Asuma normally wasn't one for small talk.

"Fine, I guess."

Etiquette dictated that Kakashi should return the question, but then, Kakashi was never one for following etiquette. Asuma didn't seem deterred by Kakashi's lack of commitment to the conversation.

"Mmm… How's Sakura. Her jonin exams are coming up soon, right?"

Asuma seemed to be tiptoeing around something, speaking so carefully. Kakashi was curious now. Asuma was usually a straightforward sort of guy. What did he want to know about Sakura?

"Yeah, I guess so. Why?"

"Hmmm, no reason, just making' conversation."

"Well it's creeping me out. What is this really about?"

Asuma paused and blew out air through closed lips, making his face look monkeyish. He looked more uncomfortable than Kakashi had ever seen him.

"Seriously, what is it? Is Sakura OK?"

"Well about that…"

Asuma stopped talking. Kakashi looked at him expectantly. What was the big deal? All the sudden he blew out some words in a rush.

"I think that Sakura's got a mission."

Kakashi felt himself tense slightly. If Asuma thought the mission was dangerous enough that he had to tell Kakashi, then it wouldn't be a little thing. However, Kakashi tried to hide any anxiety he felt when worrying about his student. He deadpanned like always. It calmed him down.

"Well she is a ninja."

Now that Asuma had spit out some information, he seemed more relaxed, like his normal mellow self. Kakashi watched Asuma sigh and lean over his drink.

"She's trying to advance to jonin rank."

Asuma looked pointedly at Kakashi.

All of the sudden the gears in Kakashi's brain clicked.

"…Oh."

"Yeah."

Kakashi didn't know why he hadn't realized it earlier. Only jonin could go on the rescue mission, and to be a jonin you had to not be a virgin. He should have seen this. Sakura would do anything to go rescue Sasuke. She was sick of being left behind by the boys.

Kakashi was brooding over his drink and completely ignoring Asuma.

How had he missed this? Had he just assumed subconsciously that she wasn't a virgin so this wasn't an issue? No, why would he think that about Sakura. She was a good girl, and shy and didn't like to be vulnerable.

Kakashi sighed again. Had his brain become so warped by his years of serving as a tool for Konoha that he automatically assumed any ninja over the age of thirteen had had sex? It seemed like a given to him.

_Ahhh, but Sakura didn't reach Chunin age until she was already fourteen. You were already a jonin by that time. You had already gotten this part over with._

Kakashi's mind flashed with images he had mostly succeeded in repressing. He took another gulp of sake to try and shut his brain up. He didn't want to think about this, any of this.

He had almost finished in resolving himself to not interfere when he heard a voice mixed in with all the screaming and groaning and crying of his memories. A voice.

_Sensei!_

The cheerful voice pierced through the other sounds, drowning them out. The scenes in his mind started to change. The image of Obito dying, of a woman looking up at him begging for mercy, of ANBU soldiers torturing a girl for information. All of those got blurrier and blurrier as another image morphed into visibility. A pink blur, looking down on him.

_Sensei, train me!_

The image behind his eyes became more and more defined. He was looking up at Sakura, her smiling face and viridian eyes. She was only thirteen.

_Sensei, come train me! The boys are sparring and it's boring!_

She was grabbing his hand and pulling him up. Her voice was energetic and happy, but still had the familiar whiny quality to it that Kakashi had learned to love.

The picture switched to a night they were all outside camping. Sasuke Naruto, Sakura, and himself. The voice in his head became a resounding whisper.

_Will you always be my sensei, sensei?_

_ Of course, Sakura. I will always protect you and Naruto and Sasuke._

The scene started overlapping with more grim ones, the voices becoming mixed.

_Necessary to advance to jonin rank…_

_ Thank you sensei…_

_ Just another mission…_

_ This might hurt, kid._

_ Please always be my sensei…_

Kakashi's eyes shot open as his cup smashed into the bar, returning him consciousness. Now there was just one voice inside his head: his own.

_I have to save her. I have to save Sakura._

Kakashi ran out of the bar without paying, leaving an understanding Asuma to pay his bill.

Kakashi didn't know what he was going to do, but he was going to do something.


	13. Sakura and Genma

Sakura gulped. She was currently walking down a dark open street, trailing after a known womanizer.

_This is the only way. You've ruled out close _and_ not-so-close friends, total strangers and civilians. Genma may be a bit… slutty, but he _is_ Kakashi-sensei's friend, and Sensei wouldn't be friends with really bad people. Would he? Plus, Genma is too scared of Kakashi-sensei to tell him, and that will keep him quiet so that news doesn't get back to him. It's perfect. Perfect._

Sakura didn't have any more time to obsess over her decision. Her quarry had finally acknowledged he was being followed and had turned around and was looking straight into Sakura's doe eyes.

He was smirking a bit. They had both stopped moving, fifteen feet away from each other. Genma was waiting, he knew something was coming, and it looked like he couldn't wait to find out what it was.

"I-I-," Sakura stuttered. How was she supposed to broach _this_ particular subject?

"What is it Sweetness," he put his senbon in his pocket and started walking towards her until he was leaning over her, "cat got your tongue?"

Sakura's face was crimson. This was the first time a man had spoken like this to her. She didn't even care how dorky the line was, she was just getting caught up in how husky his voice was, and how she could almost feel his breath on her wide forehead.

_Wait, I'm not attracted to Genma Shiranui. No! Well, I mean he is attractive, but only physically! Why am I blushing? I'm not scared._

Sakura had never been this close to a man without the reason being fighting.

_That's it! Just think of this as a mission. It is a mission. I am a spy and I have to seduce an enemy ninja for information. Nothing to it. Get into character._

Sakura attempted desperately to look confident and sexy. She tried to make her eyes hooded, posture slouchier. She felt so embarrassed, sure she was making some mistake in the sexy factor.

"I've been looking for you."

"I noticed."

Now to go all in. Sakura was considering all possible lines but she looked up to see Genma giving her a smoldering look. Her mind went blank immediately and all that replaced it were old movie lines.

_No Sakura! Abort, abort! Dear God, don't say it!_

"Wanna go someplace quieter?"

Inner Sakura screamed in rage at the line.

_Quieter? QUIETER? You're in the middle of a goddamn residential street at fucking midnight! It doesn't get fucking quieter than this!_

Genma chuckled. All the sudden he was leaning close to Sakura's face, his breath hot on her cheek, and he spoke in a scratchy voice that Sakura never would have imagined she would find sexy.

"Don't get much quieter than this honey…"

And his lips were on hers.

Sakura's eyes shot open, then slowly closed as the kiss continued. She had never known lips were so soft. Sakura felt Genma's hand on her waist. It tingled where he touched. Sakura had never felt anything like this during missions when she was touched accidentally by her teammates. Something about knowing what this was all leading to made it strangely exciting.

As new and exciting as this all was, though, Sakura couldn't help but be aware of one fact: this wasn't how she had imagined her first kiss.

She had always imagined Sasuke, of course, or some random ninja in shining armor. Not Genma Shiranui. Not some guy who she didn't even know, some guy who was with a new woman every night who didn't realize how important this was to her. A man who had long ceased to be excited by kissing, because he only cared about what came after it.

Sakura was almost crying, thinking about all the romance that she had dreamed about since she was a child. It was all washing down the drain with this kiss and what would follow. But she couldn't stop now. She had a mission.

She could feel Genma's tongue against her lips. She was blushing uncontrollably and tears were threatening to spill down her face at any second.

All the sudden it stopped. Genma paused his movements, mouth still on Sakura's. Then he slowly pulled away. Sakura opened her eyes in confusion and fear. Was this the part where he teleported her to his apartment?

But as her eyes got used to the lighting, she realized Genma wasn't looking at her. He was looking directly behind her, and he seemed tense, even though he was smirking. He stepped back from her a few feet, eyes still trained at some point above her left shoulder.

"I gotta go Sweetheart, maybe some other time."

And with that he poofed away in a cloud of smoke.

Sakura was immediately hit with a burst of paranoia. Was she that bad a kisser that Genma would dump her after only a minute? She flashed around to see what he had been looking at and her eyes went wide for the umpteenth time that night.

"…Kakashi-sensei?"


	14. Kakashi Intervenes

**OMG, thank you so much for your patience! I am so sorry for the gap between updates. I just moved houses and have been kind of caught up with that. This is a super short chapter just to get me back in the writing mood (it is so hard to start writing again!) The lemon is coming soon, and so is some actual Kakashi Sakura interaction. Yay! As always, reviews make my heart happy and help me keep writing :) And since this is the first time I've written an author's note, I would like to say thank you to everyone who faves, reviews, alerts or even just reads this story. It really is nice to think about, and I hope I will satisfy you with weekly updates now :D**

Kakashi stood motionless.

He had been flying through the streets looking for Sakura, and he had found her. The only real problem was whom he found her with: Genma. That rat bastard was standing awfully close to Sakura. Had Kakashi's behavior earlier in the night not warned him properly to stay the hell away from Sakura?

In the few moments he had paused to think, Genma had leaned in and Kakashi realized with disgust and fury that he was kissing her. He was kissing Sakura. He was taking advantage of her desperation in the worst way possible.

But wait? Maybe Sakura had chosen Genma to be the one. Maybe this was her doing. What right did he have to interfere? It was her life. She could sleep with whomever she wanted, even if the one she wanted happened to be the sleaziest douche-bag this side of Iwagakure. What the hell was Kakashi saving her from? She was sixteen, an adult by shinobi standards. People her age had sex all the time, right?

Kakashi was about to turn away when the voice in his head popped up again.

_Sensei, I'm scared… Can I stay here with you?_

Kakashi turned back to face the couple. That memory was from only three years ago, on an overnight mission during a thunderstorm. Kakashi focused his senses on Sakura. She was tense, and he could feel the earth tremble slightly from where she was standing. He could practically smell the fear on her, and there was no way in hell he was going to let her stay scared.

He sent a microburst of chakra directly at Genma to get his attention. He saw Genma lift up his head from his student, smirking with fake confidence. Kakashi was glaring, willing the man to run away.

Genma knew what was good for him and backed away, teleporting a second later.

Sakura was still not facing him. She looked shocked that Genma had left, and if Kakashi knew her well, she was probably obsessing over why he had.

All the sudden Kakashi had a burst of panic. Would she be mad? Holy God she could flatten him if she wanted! Had he overstepped the boundaries of a sensei? What if—?

Again his internal monologue was interrupted.

"…Kakashi-sensei?"


	15. Sakura Weeps

"…Kakashi-sensei?"

_No no no nononononono NOOOOOOOOOO! He didn't' see anything, did he? Of course he did! You were just kissing one of his friends in the middle of the street!_

Sakura was so busy freaking out that she didn't realize that her sensei was barely keeping his cool and looked as embarrassed as she felt.

Inner Sakura gave her a pep talk in her breakdown.

_What are you freaking out about, idiot? After all, is it so strange for two adults to be kissing in the street? No! That windbag of a sensei's got no business caring, and he can't freak out at you. So come on, say something at least! _

Keep it cool. Nonchalant. Casual. She wasn't doing anything weird, right?

"Wha- what's up, sensei?"

Sakura cringed at her own awkwardness. That was not nonchalant. That was chalant. She was just the worst liar. Dear God, how had she survived any undercover operations, she was just-

"Uh, not much. What are, hrmm, _you_ up to?"

That was odd. Sakura could've sworn he sounded uncomfortable. Wouldn't he usually revel in an opportunity to mock her? Or at least get mad or not care? Why would he be embarrassed?

"Ahh, just ahh…"

_ Sucking face with your thirty-year-old douche bag friend? Disgracing the family name for my job? Attempting to do the most disgusting thing in the world with the most disgusting person?_

"…you know…" She trailed off hoping he would just drop it and teleport away and never talk to her again

He didn't leave, just shuffled around a bit. They were still at least fifteen feet apart, so the conversation seemed even more embarrassing, like he was shouting out to the street asking her what she had been up to.

There was an awkward pause while she looked at the ground hoping it would swallow her up. During the silence Inner Sakura decided to pipe up again.

_Get us out of here! There is literally nothing that could make this day more awkward. Your sensei thinks you're a slut and that's a-OK! Just leave! _

"Listen, sensei, I gotta g-"

"I know, Sakura."

Sakura turned back around to face her sensei. He was walking towards her.

"Kn-know wh-?"

"About the mission. _Your_ mission."

He knew. He knew what she had to do, what she had been trying to do for the last week. He knew.

The stress that had surrounded Sakura for the last week dissipated in a rush as she fell into his arms. He _knew. _Her sensei knew and was going to save her like he always did. It was the most potent relief she had ever felt. She was safe. She wasn't alone. She hadn't realized how horrible it was to not be able to discuss things with someone other than herself. Now she had her sensei. Her sensei that would always protect her, who would always be there, even though everyone else left.

"Sen- sensei! I'm so scared!" She wracked out between sobs, "Wh-why-y?"

Kakashi petted her head and held her close as she sobbed out indiscernible words.

It was the first time he had held her. Even when Naruto and Sasuke had left, even when the Sandaime died, even when she graduated to chunin, he had never held her. She had forgotten how nice it was to physically _feel_ someone care for you. To not have to keep telling yourself they did, but to actually feel it, to know it beyond a shadow of a doubt or thought, that someone loved you.

Sakura didn't even realize he had teleported them to the training grounds. She didn't notice that they were sitting on a stone instead of standing. She just screamed away at the world and all that was in it as he agreed with her and held her closer than she ever would have thought she would need.

There was no room left for keeping up a strong exterior for him. All that was left was to let the fears and pain she had kept bottled up inside her for the last few years explode and gush out of her. From every pore it gushed out as she screamed. Screamed about Naruto and Sasuke leaving her, about Kakashi abandoning her, Tsunade expecting this mission of her, the village expecting everything of her, about how exhausting it was being the perfect ninja, having her whole life written out for her.

And as she screamed, her sensei held her. Even as she hit him and asked him why he had left her, even as snot and tears ran down her face and onto his jacket, he held her and mumbled into her hair that she was right, and that he was sorry and that it would all be ok.

The stars were bright in the sky by the time her shuddering breath started to slow.


	16. Sakura Awakes

Sakura's breathing had evened out completely, only broken intermittently by slight sniffles. If she hadn't just slept after exiting a state of extreme hysteria she might have remembered that it was a bit weird for her to be snuggled up so close to Kakashi-sensei. She didn't want to move; she felt warm and safe and sleepy.

Darn it, she was entering consciousness again. She could feel sleep leave her as reality set back in. She tried to stave off thinking about her problems by concentrating on what was immediately around her.

In the quiet of the training grounds Sakura could hear her sensei's breathing quite clearly. It was steady and deep. She could hear the slight chafe of her cheek against his vest. She could swear she could even hear her own blood running through her body, the deep rumble you hear when you put your hands on your ears.

Unfortunately, Sakura became aware of other, less pleasant, sensory truths, like the fact that her hip was resting on a none-too-smooth rock, and that her spine was twisted so that her top half was turning in towards her sensei, but her bottom half was still facing forward, and that she was currently resting her face against a fabric soaked in her own drool, tears, and snot.

Sakura decided to get it over with and started shifting around to let her sensei know to lift his arm so she could sit up. She peeled herself off of him and immediately regretted it. Her body was screaming at her for letting herself sleep in such an unnatural position, and her mind was chanting dully that she had let herself be humiliated again.

"Sorry," she said out of habit, glancing away. She looked at the stars and calculated that she had been asleep for about an hour. She must have really inconvenienced her sensei. She felt a small pang of embarrassment for making him wait on her.

He groaned a bit, stretching his back. It looked like he might have been asleep as well.

"S'fine."

"I kept you out here."

He stood and continued his stretching.

"I kept myself out here."

She paused. That was true. He could have left. He could have teleported to her house and dropped her sleeping body in her bed without waking her. He had a choice, and he chose to stay with her. That made her feel marginally less shameful.

She smiled a bit at the thought that he had chosen to keep her company long past what was due by social dictations.

Of course her brain immediately remembered another reason he might think she was nothing but a burden.

"I showed emotion, sensei."

He didn't answer immediately. His back was to her and he was mid stretch when he stopped and turned around.

"You're going through a difficult time in your ninja career. It's OK to show emotions sometimes."

"But shinobi rule number twen-!"

"Shinobi rule number twenty five is bull shit." His hands were on her shoulders and he was looking deep into her eyes. "Ninja who never show emotion eventually explode, and more often than not take their own lives."

Sakura was shocked by the intensity of his words and expression. She felt like her twelve-year-old self, when her sensei had called her and her teammates worse-than-trash for not putting their comrades before the mission.

He released her and tried to soften his earlier words as he turned his back on her again, "So it's OK that you showed emotion, Sakura." He looked back at her, his eye crinkled to show he wasn't mad at her.

Sakura was knocked out of her self-loathing spiral by her sensei's sharp words. If there was anyone who knew all there was to being a ninja, it was Kakashi.

Even in her stunned state, Sakura was curious. Why did he have such strong views about it? After she had opened up and shared so much with him she wanted him to do the same. She didn't know how to start, though, so she just decided to ask some questions.

"Did-did you… lose somebody?"

"Everyone in our world has, Sakura," he replied lightly.

"Bu-but to, you know, suicide?"

Kakashi didn't reply, and Sakura was immediately scared that she had made him mad and had pried too deep and that this simply wasn't any of her business. Before she had the chance to kill herself for her own nosiness Kakashi spoke.

"Yeah."

Spurred on by him actually responding to her question and not just teleporting away, Sakura waited a moment and then tentatively asked,

"Who?"

"My father."

Kakashi turned around and sat back down next to Sakura. His lone eye looked tired and old as he rested his elbows on his thighs and hunched over.

Sakura had to suppress a small gasp as she heard his sober words. Her sensei had never shared anything about his past with any of them. If this had happened a week earlier she would have had to fight off a strong sense of vanity at being the first of his students to crack that defense. Now she only had the urge to know him better, as a human, not as a ninja or a sensei. She had shown him her wounds and now maybe he could show her his and they could start to heal each other.

"How?"

Sakura immediately realized this was the wrong question.

"I mean- why?"

Kakashi eye crinkled up as he ruffled her hair.

"It's a long story, but the point is that he kept it all inside, and it didn't end so well for him."

So much for growing closer with her sensei, he was already distancing himself from her after revealing one sliver of his past. He was putting her back as his student, and him as the cutesy teacher who was late for the dumbest reasons. He was so good at hiding his feelings and changing the subject. Usually it was maddening, but right now Sakura just felt sad for her sensei, who, beneath his amazing techniques and whimsical persona was probably just as sad as she was.

He had probably gone through a lot more than she had, for that matter. He had been in Anbu, been a ninja his entire life, become a jonin at age twelve.

This time Sakura didn't manage to suppress her sharp intake of breath. Jonin. Kakashi was a jonin, and had become one at age _twelve. _

_Had-had he gone through what she was going through now? At _twelve_?_

Sakura couldn't stop herself from looking over to her teacher in wonder.

Kakashi-sensei: strong, capable, fearless. Had he been as scared as she was now? More? Had he let himself be subjected to this torture and humiliation?

"Sakura, we should get going now. I'll take you home."

His smile was more genuine now as he said this. He no longer had to divert her attention away from himself and so was less facetious. He was back to being the responsible sensei who had comforted his student for the better part of the night.

Sakura rose numbly to follow her sensei, her mind still processing what she had figured out.

They started walking slowly through the dewy grass when Sakura broke the silence. Her voice had lost the quaver it had in it when she asked him about his father.

"Sensei, did you ever have this mission?"

She looked up into his eye. He was almost a foot taller than her, and they were standing quite close. His eye was serious as he replied,

"Yes."

Sakura wasn't surprised. She wasn't happy to have her theory proven correct. She didn't know what she felt, so she kept talking.

"Were you scared?"

"Yes."

Sakura almost felt more tears well up in her eyes, but she didn't have any left from earlier. She wished she could cry again, this time not just for herself, but for her sensei, and every other ninja who had to go through this.

He continued to speak without prompting.

"I was young, so they assigned me someone, as young a jonin as they could find. He was seventeen."

"Did it hurt?" she whispered.

"Yes."

Sakura was filled with indignation and rage on her sensei's past self's behalf.

"How- how can they- it's not fa- it's not…" she spewed, looking down.

He didn't reply to her disjointed rant.

She let out a breath then looked up willing him to meet her gaze. When he had she began again.

"Why does the village do this to us?"

Her eyes pleaded for him to give her an answer that would satisfy all her questions, that would still let her love her village as fully as she had before this horrible mission.

"To protect us."

That answer did not suffice.

"How can they think they're protecting us!?" she railed. She pounded her fists against his chest in frustration. He didn't dodge, as she wasn't powering her punches with chakra.

CRACK

Until that last one.

Sakura jumped back in shock at the realization that she had lost control of her chakra and had injured her sensei.

"Oh my God, sensei! I'm so sorry! Here, lie down, I'll treat you!"

Kakashi wheezed a little as he said, "No, no, I'm good."

"Sensei, get down on the ground and let me treat you." Her voice had gone dark and her fist was up, as if she would injure him further if he didn't comply.

Kakashi gave a little huff of fake consternation, and suddenly Sakura was laughing. This was so familiar. Just like their old dynamic, her being overly aggressive and then having to force him to take his healing.

"Hey, I'm injured here," Kakashi pouted. This just made Sakura laugh harder, "Hey! It really hurts. I may have internal bleeding," Kakashi whined. He knew he was making her laugh and he was going to milk it for all it was worth.

"BWAH!" Sakura snorted, "In-in- internal hahahaha ha!"

"Just think of the headlines. "Beloved-by-all Kakashi Hatake murdered by snorting student."" His voice was as funny as Sakura had ever heard it. The late hour and giddiness after weeping were finally getting to her. She was almost peeing her pants. Her body and mind were so relieved to find a reason to relax that they grabbed hold of it.

"Haha, no seriously, ha, I've got to treat you hrrk, hold still hngk."

Sakura calmed herself enough to be able to heal him. Chakra glowed around her hands as she panted out laughs.

Sakura's thoughts slowly cleared themselves as she entered the world of chakra paths and muscle and bone tissue. She was using a whole different sense than sight or touch as she assessed the damage she had inflicted on her sensei.

_Good, just a hairline fracture on a rib and a bruise. Easy as pie._

And with an eye single to her task Sakura set about mending her sensei. She sent her chakra out to stimulate cell activity in the bone, slowly massaging it into perfect place. She then sent her chakra to dissipate the blood that was pooling in the bruise. Now the hard part was done and all she had to do was continue the chakra flow.

"So, Sakura. How did you come to pick Genma of all people," he asked in a jocular tone.

Sakura snorted a little. She usually would have been embarrassed, but the combination of exhaustion and being in the middle of a healing prevented that.

"I was desperate, OK?"

"Pretty _damn_ desperate," Kakashi muttered.

Sakura pinched his nerves playfully to let him know she had heard his quip.

"Look, at the time, he seemed like the only option."

"When Genma is the only option you have you know you're doomed."

Sakura's smile shrank after a brief laugh and her face became melancholy.

Her sensei seemed to realize he had said the wrong thing almost immediately.

"Did you consider other chunin?"

"Yeah," she sighed, "But I just-" she broke off.

"You just…?"

"I just don't want to share something that special with someone who won't even realize that it's important. I don't want someone to laugh at me…"

She hung her head. It was embarrassing to tell this to her sensei.

"Yeah, everyone's scared they'll get laughed at," he quipped.

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Even you?"

"Weeellllll…."

Sakura laughed at his purposefully obvious evasion.

"But I guess you do have to find someone you trust, or someone who for whatever reason, couldn't laugh at you."

"That's kind of where I thought Genma would come in handy. I figured he's too scared of you to ever tell anyone."

"Well, how about Naruto? He seems like the obvious choice."

Sakura stared at her hands guiltily.

"I don't like him like that, and even if I told him it was just a mission I don't think it would get through is thick ramen skull."

"Hn, I guess that would be true, you don't want to ruin a relationship for this."

"Kakashi, I was wondering-" Sakura stopped mid sentence and almost took her hands off of her sensei's chest in shock. She had forgotten his honorific and called him by his first name. She blushed at her gaffe, but she had felt so close to him after this night, it was hard to remember they were teacher and student and not just good ninja friends.

"Sensei! I mean- I was wondering, what was it like to have a stranger do it…?"

Kakashi's face imperceptibly tightened beneath his mask, but his voice remained the same.

"It has its advantages, but I wouldn't recommend it."

Sakura earnestly agreed with him.

"Yeah, it seems so scary and shouldn't your first time be at least a little special? At least with someone you know, right?"

"Yeah," his face looked dark. "Your virginity is special, and so is losing it. Even in the ninja world it should be."

Sakura lifted her hands off her sensei. Things in the ninja world didn't always happen the way they should.

"All fixed," she sighed.

He slowly stood up, testing her work. Sakura took his lack of comment to be a sign she had done well.

Sakura stood too, her legs numb from being folded beneath her for so long. They were both standing silently, when suddenly Sakura spoke without thinking. The words seemed to spill out of her, and a strange calm took over her as she spoke them, and she realized that this was the only path left for her. It was the answer to the question that had been burning in her mind for a week. Who? Now she knew.

"Sensei, will you take my virginity?"

**Kay fellas, this is the longest chapter i have ever written. It is 3 or 4 times longer than most chapters I write and I expect reviews for my hard work hahah. I wrote this at like 5 am, so if it sucks, I'll edit it later, otherwise, enjoy!**


	17. Decision Made

**So sorry for the long wait. I had to move yet again, so I have been dead. This is a short chapter but the lemon is next... Enjoy more (and longer) chapters to come. Thank you all so much for the reviews, they really give me the motivation to actually finish this thing haha.**

Sakura looked intently into Kakashi's visible eye. It was strange; she should be embarrassed, shouldn't she? She had just asked her most respected teacher to take her virginity. But she wasn't embarrassed, at least not that Kakashi could tell. There was not a hint of self-consciousness evident on her face as she stared into his eye waiting for an answer. She looked positively calm, and if they hadn't just bonded over mutual pain, it would have been disconcerting.

Kakashi wished he could look startled, and say that it was inappropriate for her to play a prank on her poor old sensei, but her perfect seriousness prohibited that sort of response. She was a ninja and a friend asking him solemnly for a favor, and he should respect her and respond in accord.

He turned so he was looking straight ahead, away from her, and paused for a few moments.

"Sakura, I don't think that that's a good idea."

His voice was at its gentlest, measured and slow, but sure. He knew how sensitive this issue was, and he didn't want to hurt or embarrass Sakura any more than he had to, but he simply could not say yes to her request.

They were silent for a moment, and then another. Kakashi didn't speak, and just let her digest what she had heard.

"Sensei," she broke the silence, speaking into the damp night air, both of them facing the old training grounds, "do you remember a time on a mission, I asked you a question."

Kakashi angled his head to look at her but said nothing.

"I asked if you would always be my sensei."

She paused still looking straight ahead, neither speaking for a moment.

"You said you would always protect me, Naruto, and Sasuke."

Kakashi's eyes widened slightly.

"Sakura, this doesn't seem like the same-"

"You said you would always protect me and you would always be my sensei."

If the circumstances had been different, Kakashi would have been secretly gratified that Sakura cherished that memory as much as he did, but now he was just apprehensive.

"Sakura," he tried the gentle teacher tactic again, even though he was becoming uncomfortable, "that isn't what I mea-"

"Sensei," she cut him off again, "my nindo is to protect the ones I love at all costs. I cannot do that unless I fulfill this mission." Her voice was quiet but strong. "If you can't protect me, then protect my nindo. Let me save Sasuke and protect Naruto," she turned towards him, again staring into his lone eye, an expression more earnest than Kakashi had ever seen on her face, "please."

The last thought that flashed through Kakashi's mind before he took hold of Sakura's wrist and teleported her into his bedroom was that this was only a mission, and he would still be her sensei when it was over.

Wouldn't he?


End file.
